Best Drunk Stories!

jeremy · Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 2:30 am Post subject: Best Drunk Stories!

Post your best/most ridiculous/most embarassing drunk stories hear, we know we all have them.

Here' mine...

I think my most memorable drunk quote was something I cant remember happening. I WAS HAMMERED. I don't even remember leaving. I remember sitting up in the car, holding my vomit in and tapping the driver to pull over, then puking once...then i woke up in my dorm room. Apparently when we left, I was walking all over, then in the car I got in a fight with my roommates girlfriend yelling "you've got a bad attitude!" then i woke up, puked on the side of the road and passed out on the jersey barrier, then my buddy someone made me get into the car, and i went home and woke up there. Also, I guess I was spraying the contact solution in the vile and it was going EVERYWHERE, all over the deck and all, and my buddy goes "uh Jer, you might wanna get that in the vials" I said in a really snotty attitude "I've done this once or twice, I THINK I know what I'm doing." of ourse I don't remember that either.

But the most amazing thing is I was talking to some girl for a while at school (yeah, I was talking to a girl...amazing huh?) well, that's not the amazing part, but I could never remember her voicemail number, so I would hit the button to enter the last name of the person, and i'd type in her last name. Apparently I somehow did this and have no recollection, and I spelled her last name johnston correctly to get in her voice mail. I found this out becuase the next day she called me to ask me if I was ok. I said "uhh, yea I'm fine why?" because apparently, I imed her saying "I'm dying Erica...I'm not drunk, I'm dying. I'm not sick, I'm dying" and had NO recolection at all.
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Kealiki · Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 2:39 am Post subject:

Okay. We all know that Im a recovering alchoholic. Well, here is the story of how my drinking began.

My cousin and my sister took me up to our lake for the last weekend before school started. I was just freshly turned 17, and they had just realized that I wasnt the annoying little kid they used to know, so we were hanging out now more. They introduced me to many a wonderful drink that first night. At about 1 in the morning, we decided to go for a walk around the trailer complex (its like a trailer resort. Think, trailer park, but clean and tidy and abit of woodsy and about a million rules governing what your lot can look like and shit like that). Going for a walk was a bad idea. We were all smashed. Aside from the point that we would probably get lost (even though we could navigate in there just fine when we were sober), it wa dangerous to walk around as there were sudden drop offs along the paths and junk like that.

We ended up lying on our backs looking at the stars on the beach. I remember pointing out to them which ones I knew (back then I was an astronomy geek, wait, I still am). And at one point, I got up to act out some of the stories behind the naming of the constellations and suddenly,

"Guys, Im spinning! hey guys, look at me, Im making the world spin!"

Well, I was spinning around really fast and my cohorts thought it was helarioius, and they wanted to see me fall over, so they let me keep going. Well, I spun and spun and veered over to one side, and fell into the lake. (no drop off, just fell into the water).

I sobered up DAMN quickly. It was cold. And then I had to walk back to the trailer in a bad mood. It was very funny. But I still felt great. And I kept on drinking.

Derickls · Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 9:25 am Post subject:

my drunk stories suck:

21st was taken out drinking, went back to my dorm drunk, kept my roommate from sleeping by talking to him.

another time: got drunk, played the stand up really fast game. gave a girl a 3-5 hour back massage, i can't remember how long it was, went to sleep.

DJ_Mittens · Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 10:36 am Post subject:

Most of my sexual encounters have involved large amounts of alcohol. I was once raped by a girl three times my weight. I vaguely recall sitting in a nice wooden chair, and she tried to straddle it and me, and broke the armrest. Then, somehow I got dragged into the sauna at our frat. I think some happenings went on (it was dark in there without any lights), and I don't really want to remember. Eventually, the lights got turned on, I saw her, got equally turned off, and went outside and passed out. Apparently, I was her third of the night and she went on to have one more.

Here's her photo. If you look on the left, look where my hands are. That's not my arm down there.

I've also been felated in that sauna by another sizeable female. What is it with me, alcohol, and women with their own gravitational pull? I honestly don't know....

As I said in an earlier post, I also got so drunk on my 18th birthday that I was blind. My eyes were open, but I couldn't see anything. That was bad.

Another time I wanted to join the 40oz club, so I bought two 40's of OE (Old English, just about the worst malt liquor on the planet, and at $5 cdn a pop it ought to be). I proceeded to drink both, and, well, I became rather debaucherous, proceeded to urinate myself on a couch, vomited into the HMCS Binge (a washing basin), and passed out for approximately 16 hours. When I awoke I vomited another four times as I walked home - 45 minutes away on foot. It was awful. BUT I FINISHED THEM BOTH!!!

I've never been that drunk since.
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Most problems can be solved through violence. Those that cannot are not worth solving.

jeremy · Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 6:56 pm Post subject:

... ::shakes head::

DJ_Mittens, I think it's time to stop drinking.

that's also pretty gross you're holding onto her by her gut...

but props to you for having the balls to put that picture up.
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"Just because I rock doesn't mean I'm made of stone"

cokeplantking · Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 7:31 pm Post subject:

My worst drinking experience happened this past April. My girl and I had just split a few days prior to this party that I was hosting at my apartment. It was going to be a small party, more like a get together for some close friends, but turned into an insane night of sex, drugs, and rock'n roll.

My buddy John and I were out in town getting beer when we ran into some girls we knew. We told them what was going on and they gave us some money to get them beer and said they'd be by later to drink with us. Well, John and I went to the store and got the beer...bitch beer. I'll go ahead and admit, I used to drink the stuff but after this night I could never touch it again.

We had the beer and a couple people were at the apartment with us. John was sipping on a smirnoff and I was pounding them down as fast as I could. When I drink, I drink to get drunk. So after pounding down 3 smirnoffs in about 20 minutes I was feeling a pretty decent buzz when the girls from earlier walked through the door. My drunk pimpness promptly sprung into action. I was suddenly the "Ladie's Man" and I was offering alcohol as means to break the ice with the girls of the group I hadn't met. It was when I was handing out beers that I remembered I had a cheap bottle of Vodka. IT WAS ON AFTER THAT!!

I was taking double shots of vodka and chasing them down with smirnoffs. All the girls were getting in on the vodka as well, which just made things a bit more interesting. After about 5 doubles, my caveman instincts came out and I pretty much just lay claim to a girl named Becca. I walked right up to her, put my arm around her and started talking to her. We watched this guy snort a line of blow and I told her to go into the bedroom with me. I'll let everyone use their imagination on the next part of this story, but I will say that some drunk love was being made.

About half-way through the drunk love making, my stomach started churning. I decided to ignore it since I was having a REALLY good time at that moment. The pain started getting worse and worse and I was blacking out every few seconds and coming to not knowing exactly what was going on. I remember poning up on her and all of a sudden I knew I had to stop. "I'm gonna puke!!!" I screamed as I fell from the bed to the floor searching for my boxer shorts. I found them and tied to put them on, but I just kept falling over. I blacked out and woke up puking into a trash can with my boxers on.

The girls left sometime during the night after Becca had helped take care of me. Somehow I climbed back into bed and slept for a few hours. I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and my body was twitching. ALCOHOL POISONING!! It wasn't the first time I had it, but it has been the last up to this point.

I woke up the next morning with the worst hangover I've ever had in my life! I went into my living room and found my buddy John passed out on the sofa. I scanned the room to try to estimate the damage and noticed that my laptop was missing! When the girls left that night they didn't lock the door behind them. Somebody must have known we were partying and when most of the people were gone they snuck in and stole the damn computer!!

So what started off as a great night of alcohol and sex turned into a vomiting, alcohol poisoned, shitty day without a computer. I went to get a new laptop later that day with a hangover...it sucked!

Oh yeah, the Becca chick was no bad fish at all...here's a link to a pic.

http://members.aol.com/cokeplantking/images/partygirls2.jpg
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JohnnySix · Posted: Fri Sep 17, 2004 9:08 pm Post subject:

I once woke up in Vegas (I was there for the weekend) in a hotel that I was not staying in with no memory of how I'd gotten there, about $350 more dollars than I remembered having in my wallet, and only very cloudy memories about the previous night.

I remembered drinking with some friends at the Bellagio (where I was staying) for a couple of hours. I remembered gambling a bit at the MGM Grand, but I couldn't remember what game I was playing. I remembered talking to a guy who looked like Elvis (though I don't think he was an impersonator) over these crazy-large blue drinks. I remembered being in a cab. I remembered doing some more gambling. My friends called me on my cell as I was taking a shower in this hotel room that probably wasn't mine -- they assumed I was dead.

After showering and putting my clothes back on (which were just rank with alcohol and smoke smells), I went down to the front desk and found that I was at Binion's Horseshoe. I tried to pay the bill for my room, but it had been comped -- apparently, I'd won a lot more than the extra $350 I found in my wallet, but gambled most of it right back to them.

I then took a cab back to the strip and had breakfast with my friends. Apparently, we were all heading to a strip club after gambling at the MGM, and that's where I decided to break off from the pack and do my own thing. One second I was there, the next I was gone.

So, you know, if any one of you was in Vegas two summers ago and saw a short, crazy, drunken mutant running around the Strip and Downtown, let me apologize belatedly.

I also got pretty hammered at my bachelor party this summer -- we drank until the bars closed, then I don't remember anything for about 45 minutes, then all of a sudden I was sitting on a stoop in the ghetto with my friend Brad and some homeless guy, just chatting and smoking cigarettes. Fun times.

Lady_Jez · Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 12:34 am Post subject:

I don't have any of my own yet, since I'm not 21 until January and when I do drink I don't get sick, but here is my boyfriend's.

He came home one morning around 8:30 after being out all night and this was the story I got. Apparently him and some friends of his from work had gone out drinking at several bars, then headed over to someone's house. After that it got kinda blurry, and he woke up the next morning at 7 on a bench in front of a high school. Also, his pants in the crotch area were wet. Now after a night of heavy drinking you can imagine what his first conclusion was, but no, he didn't pee on himself. Apparently sometime during the course of the night he went swimming in someone's pool. Not sure whose pool, but he did have the sense to take off his pants and shirt, so only his underwear was soaked. I'm not sure after hearing this that I ever want to get that drunk, I don't like not knowing what I did, but at least it would give me a bit of an excuse to do some crazy things.

coldnight · Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 1:22 am Post subject:

Kealiki · Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 3:33 am Post subject:

Ramrod · Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 4:15 am Post subject:

On my 20th birthday we had a pretty big house party with a keg and we went out and stocked the bar we had built in our apartment. NOthing too bad happened that night, I called my roommate's girlfriend a sucubus and Maleficent, the evil queen from Sleeping Beauty. She didn't deserve all the abuse but she was slowly draining the life of one of my buddies.

Later that night I went over to my girlfriend's house so she could take care of me but when we went to bed, I somehow managed to end up sleeping in her roommate's bed, her roommate was away for the weekend, and upon waking up I realized that I was naked and I had thrown up and pooed all over her roommate's sheets and comforter.
I just started laughing my ass off because it was the funniest thing I had been involved in. We washed and scrubbed the sheets and got most of it out and the roommate never knew. She sleeps in poo and vomit ridden sheets every night without a clue. Muah ha ha ha
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stardust05 · Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 8:26 am Post subject:

i've only been drunk once, and only homncruse knows this story of you all here, so i guess i'll finally share it.

i was incredibly shithoused one night, and it wasn't even off much. 5 shots of creme de cacao and i was gone. 3 am, and i'm webcamming with 2 people, one girl whom i was doing mutual shots with, one guy whom i'd been talking to and flirting with for quite some time. the guy asked me to flash him... and, well, inhibitions lowered, i did. i then got up to go to the bathroom (i understand why drunks pee so much now) and came back to felicia's hysterical laughter, telling me to shut her conversation window before i decide to flash john.

my best friend just saw my boobs.

i giggled drunkenly, and went on with my night.
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DJ_Mittens · Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 9:45 am Post subject:

Damn cokeplantking. That chick is pretty hot, I gotta say. I got a hot chick drunk once and she was all over me, until she had about four more shots of the Amaretto I was feeding her and then she was all over the toilet. It could've gone places, until I found out she had a borderline personality disorder and was moving to Los Angeles because the north end of Winnipeg is too dangerous of a place (we're the murder capital of Canada, but that's like saying Fomboni is the murder capital of Comoros). She was crazy as a fox.

I gotta hang out at clubs more, seriously. I'm one of the old guys there, and these 18-year-olds love the old guys. I'm gonna pimp it up tomorrow night and come back with some more crazy debauchery stories, because if I don't hook up, I'm gonna get drunk.
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Most problems can be solved through violence. Those that cannot are not worth solving.

Myopia · Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 4:19 pm Post subject:

Uhhmmm... i was drunk that one night....and then we like...........got crazy....and did like....you know....crazy stuff......and did all the drunk talk......and stuff....

Aw fuck it

I'VE NEVER BEEN DRUNK.
I'M A FRIGGIN GODDAMNED MINOR

coldnight · Posted: Sat Sep 18, 2004 8:56 pm Post subject: