Syndication: Validated XML RSS  |  Add to Google  |  Add to My Yahoo!  |  Twitter  |  Facebook  |  LJ   More Joe:  |  Joe's Dumb Journal  |  Automotivetry  |  Could I Have Made It?  




Welcome To Mentally Incontinent!
    Login  |  About/FAQ  |  All Stories  |  FORUMS!!!  |  MI Chat  |  Contact  |  Joe's Blog  
"Still Mentally Incontinent" is a socially-edited book:
read Read:Read the stories in any order and laugh your ass off.
read Edit:Comment on grammar, spelling, plot, or just your opinion!
read Vote:Vote on your favorites to be in Joe's next book!

Learn more, or see how it worked with the first book!


Vote on Chapter 5:

Vote on Chapter 5:

Wheres Your Sense Of Adventure?
A Leisurely Day Along The Mighty Merced
Snagging Some Clips
I`ll Give Away The Ending - They Taste NOTHING Like Grapes
Clang Bang Clang



Results &
Comments


Votes: 76
Comments: 8


Who's Here Now?

Welcome, Anonymous

Registered Members: 4884

Max Members
for Book 2:
TBD


Who's Here Now:

Guests: 41
Members: 2
Total: 43


User Login


Stories:

Still Mentally Incontinent
The second MI Book

Stories posted for
Chapter 6:

Stories in contention for
Chapter 5:
(vote above)

* Where's Your Sense Of Adventure?

* A Leisurely Day Along The Mighty Merced

* Snagging Some Clips

* I`ll Give Away The Ending - They Taste NOTHING Like Grapes

* Clang Bang Clang


The book so far:

Chapter 1:
- Doing The Gay

Chapter 2:
- Never Saw THAT One Coming...

Chapter 3:
- Total Prosers

Chapter 4:
- 1-800-STALKER



If you want to read the contenders for past chapters (and read ALL the non-winning stories for the first book), register for an account! It's free, easy, and safe!


And what kind of author wouldn't give you samples of his first book?

Chapter 1:
- The Wal-Mart Story

Chapter 5:
- The Cows... They Talk!

Chapter 11:
- I'm Just Dying To Know You

All this and more can be found in:

Mentally Incontinent

The first book from this website




Would you like to be notified when new stories come out? Want to read all the stories that didn't make it into the last chapter (or the rest of the book... Or the last book)?
Register or Login!


The Forums:


Topics in red are in Anything Goes and may contain mature content. So... You know... Expect the worst.

 Chat Friends

 I can't believe no one posted this yet.

 What Happened To The Economy?

 Nanowrimo -- A month away!

 Aussie Aussie Aussie?

 New Scary Movie

 Showing Writing

 im sorry for being an outright pisscunt asshole :(

 M.I.L.F.O.M. details and RSVPs

 I got a souvenir in Atlanta


Mentally Incontinent
Forums




LINKS!!!!!!

- Fark
- ZUG
- Something To Be Desired
- NEATORAMA!
- Cockeyed
- BBSpot
- Humor Feed
- The Watley Review
- Broken Newz
- PhoneLosers
- For The Retarded
- Lizerati - Best handmade jewelry EVER.
- Virginia Hall, Photographer
- Jeremy Halvorsen
- 127.0.0.1 (Fruitbat!)




Link to Mentally Incontinent with
The Official Button! (But only if you want to... no pressure)




This site hosted on Cornerhost


   

Mentally Incontinent: A Joe The Peacock Book: Forums

OMG!!!!! :: View topic - Bored at Work Story, I will stop writing when guest comes.
Forum RSS Syndication: Validated XML RSSValidated XML RSS

 Forum FAQForum FAQ   SearchSearch   UsergroupsUsergroups   ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Bored at Work Story, I will stop writing when guest comes.

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    OMG!!!!! Forum Index -> Creative Works
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Snall
PeTA Cow Killer!
PeTA Cow Killer!


Joined: Jan 12, 2008
Posts: 146

PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:25 pm    Post subject: Bored at Work Story, I will stop writing when guest comes. Reply with quote

To recap I will just start writing some fiction and post whatever is done when a guest comes and makes me get up.

The pool hall was dingy and dark, as pool halls tend to be, and was sparsely populated for this time of night. On a normal Saturday the place would have so many people banging about that you wouldn't noticed how scuffed the tables were, or dirty the bar glasses. This night though was not a normal Saturday night, or Sunday..or even a Monday really, it was more of a mishmash of Saturday morning and Sunday afternoon. That and everyone had guns.

The guns were new models for the most part, shiny or gunmetal black. The oldest model there was made in 2012, a remake of the WW2 Luger that fired 2mm flechette rounds. Luckily for the man carrying it (If he was going to shoot someone there) no one was wearing body armor, otherwise it would have been next to useless. As it stood his gun was perhaps best suited for the cramped space they held court in the hall and the smaller gun would allow him to react faster to threat stimulus.

On the other end of the gun spectrum stood the three foot long guided REM, rocket enabled munition, system. This gun could be locked onto a target up to a mile away and detonate a small shrapnel/thermal/or EMP charge within 1 cm of the target. Needless to say this would be next to useless in the current situation. Of course, they weren't planning on being attacked, it was only the rendezvous before the attack. A misstep on the Ravens part to pull all their strength together for better coordination instead of relying on everyone to do their part when the time came.

They never knew what hit them. Well, they did really...it's just a figure of speech..and to be fair they didn't know for long. Because they all died. Well, not really died...more like temporarily put out of action by death. Not like full on permanent death. I mean, who dies these days? Only straight up idiots, homeless people, crazies, suicides, and people who fuck with the wrong corporations. Still, it was as close to death as most people with a few thousand credits left get.

The front door exploded inwards as the Cacophony Orchestra started one of its more amazing performances. While the splinters were still scything towards the unmoving occupants of the room the three windows facing the back alley were all blown open and two flash bangs and an old style tear gas canister were launched into the room. A second later, as the heavily armed men in just started to drop down to the floor, a frag grenade was rolled through the front door. Another second; the men had all fallen to the floor and watched as the frag waddled forward and then the flash bangs went off, followed closely by the tear gas spraying everywhere. None of them could hear or see very well (I really hate using the word very -Ed note). The grenade went off.

As the men stumbled towards the back door below the broken windows a heavily armored man entered through the front door. When the back door opened a hail, well really more of a powerful spray like water from a fire hose, of bullets tore through the few leading members and caused the others to once again drop to their bellies or knees. As they started to maneuverer to the sides of the opening to return fire the men who had entered from the front started shooting. It didn't last long.

The smoke slowly curled up through the windows and out from under the eves of the doors while armor suited men searched for survivors. Lights mounted on the ends of their rifles, crouched low and sweeping the room carefully. When each of the men gave the all clear signal their squad leader called it in to HQ.

"Good job boys, that couldn't of gone any better if we had tried it a hundred times," the leader said as they strolled back outside through the rear exit.

As they slowly popped their gas masks cum armored helmets off their pressurized suits they grinned at each other and headed towards the matte black van that was parked at the end of the alley. The van's motor was running and the back doors were opened, the two men who had opened fire with the mini gun now waiting patiently in the front to pull out. The squad plopped down in the back and one of the squadies gave the divider a sharp rap to tell the boys up front to take off. The tires squealed as the last two men inside closed the armored doors shut behind them, leaving only darkness.

They were turning the corner heading for the next block when the building they were just in exploded violently, a crescendo perhaps for the orchestra. In the back of the van they all looked at each other until one of the men said what they were all thinking, "Well why the FUCK didn't they just do that in the first place!?". Silence held sway until they all suddenly started giggling. Just as suddenly the laughter cum (I really like using that ...it's 5am I'm tired -Ed) release started it was put violently down and shot in the back of the head by an old man who had never once laughed in his entire life when the van was hit from the side and thrown into the side of a small coffee shop.

The execution squad lay tumb
_________________
<-Tri/_p
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Joe the Peacock
When it's Done


Joined: Feb 07, 2002
Posts: -21491
Location: Atlanta, GA

PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think this rules.

I love how it ends, knowing how it began (from a process standpoint). The story just gets going and boom, someone comes in and makes you stop writing.

That all by itself is a story. I love it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
Snall
PeTA Cow Killer!
PeTA Cow Killer!


Joined: Jan 12, 2008
Posts: 146

PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's not a great story though, but sometimes just writing off the top of your head with no aim can be a hell of a lot of fun. And sometimes, much like when you doodle and it actually becomes something, it can truly be amazing. I like commas.
_________________
<-Tri/_p
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
[deleted user]
PeTA Cow Killer!
PeTA Cow Killer!


Joined: Jan 12, 2007
Posts: 105
Location: Not from here anymore.

PostPosted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 5:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I loved it. The story and the concept were superb.

Bravo.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Snall
PeTA Cow Killer!
PeTA Cow Killer!


Joined: Jan 12, 2008
Posts: 146

PostPosted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 5:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I guess i'll post some actual work I put effort into, as a unpublished writer I need as much stroking as possible...*ahem* Dirty minded bastards...
_________________
<-Tri/_p
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
DarkAngela
Fights LightAngela for World Domination
(changed by MaggotHex)


Joined: Sep 02, 2005
Posts: 1765
Location: Palm Beach, Florida

PostPosted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 7:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You could submit it to Anime for MIR...as I recall, she says we were almost out of submissions recently.
_________________
"A government big enough to give you everything you want is strong enough to take everything you have." -Pres. Ford
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Yahoo Messenger
Snall
PeTA Cow Killer!
PeTA Cow Killer!


Joined: Jan 12, 2008
Posts: 146

PostPosted: Wed Mar 26, 2008 9:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

All right, I'll whip something or other up tonight at work.
_________________
<-Tri/_p
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Snall
PeTA Cow Killer!
PeTA Cow Killer!


Joined: Jan 12, 2008
Posts: 146

PostPosted: Fri May 09, 2008 6:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Obviously I am a big fucking liar...and cannot attack Joe anymore, shit. Ah well, I will submit something soon as it looks like someone else finally had the heart (Or lack thereof) to kill the poem.
_________________
<-Tri/_p
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    OMG!!!!! Forum Index -> Creative Works All times are GMT + 5 Hours
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group


This site and all contents herein ©, TM, ¥ , €, ¢, ± and everything else 2003-2007 Joe Peacock (unless otherwise noted). Mentally Incontinent is a registered trademark of Joe Peacock, so feel free to steal my logo and stuff but be prepared to get email that says you shouldn't. Any and all content present currently or added to this site is immediately licensed to Joe Peacock and Mentally Incontinent to do whatever the hell I want with it, but ownership (copyright) remains with the originator of the material. PLEASE Feel free to print out, email, post on your site or otherwise give any story on this site to anyone you like, as long as credit is given to the author and www.mentallyincontinent.com. Reproducing a story on this site without giving proper credit, charging for a story on this site, and swearing at your mother are big no-no's and will get you in deep trouble (and probably slapped), so don't do it. Also, I'm obligated to tell you that VERY OLD portions of this web site engine's code are Copyright © 2002 by PHP-Nuke (but I'll be damned if I could actually point to any left on this site that still exists as the PHP-Nuke guys wrote it). All Rights Reserved.


Still Mentally Incontinent: A Penguin / Gotham Book