If you want to read the contenders for past chapters (and read ALL the non-winning stories for the first book), register for an account! It's free, easy, and safe!
And what kind of author wouldn't give you samples of his first book?
All this and more can be found in: Mentally Incontinent The first book from this website
Would you like to be notified when new stories come out? Want to read all the stories that didn't make it into the last chapter (or the rest of the book... Or the last book)? Register or Login!
The Forums:
Topics in red are in Anything Goes and may contain mature content. So... You know... Expect the worst.
Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 12:27 am Post subject: Showing Writing
We did this exercise in English the other day that I love. Instead of "telling" (It is hot outside.) You "show" it. Desciribe it, but without using the key words in the sentence (aka - hot and outside).
I really like dthis one that I did and figured you guys might like to participate. Feel free to repsond or throw up new sentences.
I love the ocean.
The sand is a horrible nuisance but no one ever said I had to stay on the shore. The tide ebbing continually in and out is the softest lullaby and the sweetest white noise. The first few waves are the worst, but even they are amazing. As the salt water and sweet breeze surround me my spirits are lifted. No more boundries. It's like returning to a beautiful friend who can hold me everywhere and sing the song of my heart.
That's what I got in about 90 seconds. _________________ Ölüm bizi ayırana dek senin bir parçan olmak istiyorum
You're naked inside your fears
Can't take back all those years
Shots in the dark from empty guns
Never heard by anyone
"Naked"
-The Goo Goo Dolls
"We are one . . . alone . . . and only . . . and we love you who are one . . . alone . . . and only."
-Anthem by Ayn Rand
Yeah this is one of the basic tenets of 'good' writing, well...fiction writing anyway...but I don't care about the others. In fact I spit on them. I tell you I spit on them and there's me spitting on them over there! It was a light warm spit, no mucus, and it hit them in their collective faces. Luckily it was winter.
EDIT- Oh yeah I'll try that thingy too. Going from a sentence of tell to show? I think?
In space people can't hear you scream.
A void of darkness surrounds the suited figure. No, not a void. Pinpricks of light pierce the veil of black.
The figure tries to swim, to move, to control its destination. It flails to no avail. The tiny figure's head shakes back and forth. The blackness stretches for eternities in every direction. _________________ <-Tri/_p
Heh, I forgot that I even posted this. I like! *Spits with you* _________________ Ölüm bizi ayırana dek senin bir parçan olmak istiyorum
You're naked inside your fears
Can't take back all those years
Shots in the dark from empty guns
Never heard by anyone
"Naked"
-The Goo Goo Dolls
"We are one . . . alone . . . and only . . . and we love you who are one . . . alone . . . and only."
-Anthem by Ayn Rand
Yeah.... I thought perhaps it would turn into a nice little game, but it didn't. _________________ Ölüm bizi ayırana dek senin bir parçan olmak istiyorum
You're naked inside your fears
Can't take back all those years
Shots in the dark from empty guns
Never heard by anyone
"Naked"
-The Goo Goo Dolls
"We are one . . . alone . . . and only . . . and we love you who are one . . . alone . . . and only."
-Anthem by Ayn Rand
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum