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This story was a Winning Chapter and is included in the first book from this site, also titled "Mentally Incontinent". If you'd like to read this story, you should order the book! It's cheap and totally worth it! Just ask anyone in the forum and chat room!
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Posted on Friday, July 08 2005
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COMMENTS / EDITS
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Re: A Small Victory (Score: 1)
by ComesBackTenfold on Friday, July 08 2005
(User Info | Send a Message) | | ive always found it to be a very gratifying thing to beat cars with a bike. bmx in my case though. :) nice work |
Re: A Small Victory (Score: 1)
by krissy (bgates@microsoft.com) on Friday, July 08 2005
(User Info | Send a Message) | I feel kinda out of breath after reading that. I'm impressed by 22mph up a hill though, even if I feel like I've just done it.
Good work. |
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Re: A Small Victory (Score: 1)
by RallyMonkey (Iluvcheese@gmail.com) on Friday, July 08 2005
(User Info | Send a Message) | Very entertaining story.
What's great about you is that you take very simple things (Beating a car with a bike, alright, not simple to do, just simple to tell about) and make them interesting to read.
Good work Joe. Now, I probably didn't make much sense, since it is late. |
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Re: A Small Victory (Score: 1)
by RunningFool on Friday, July 08 2005
(User Info | Send a Message) http://running.spreadshirt.com | This would be a great last chapter: you started out with a victory against something people hate (Wal*Mart), then had a bunch of stories about you losing, in various ways, and now you have a victory against something else people hate.
Plus it's a good story.
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Re: A Small Victory (Score: 1)
by jaheira on Friday, July 08 2005
(User Info | Send a Message) | Explanation of "tricked out" lisence plates:
It's cool!
Duh. |
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Re: A Small Victory (Score: 1)
by Shaggy_Shaggs (eviscerator69@yahoo.com) on Friday, July 08 2005
(User Info | Send a Message | Journal) | Damned nice work and damned good story, Joe. It's just awesome how you take what could be a simple anecdote of a job very well done, and instead practically take the readers back with you to experience it themselves.
"Fireworks were going off in my brain. My back was screaming, begging to be released from the contracted hunch I was now locked into. My legs were on fire and my lungs burned as napalm rushed through my veins. But somehow, I was still going strong… Even stronger than I was before." This RULES. Very colourful, and, from personal experience, very accurate description of the feeling when the endocrine system goes crazy, and you practically go nuclear-powered from the adrenaline raging through your bloodstream.
I second what was said above about this being the last chapter, and ending on a victory. Congrats, you kick much ass and without even racking up assault charges. |
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Re: A Small Victory (Score: 1)
by MikeyToo on Friday, July 08 2005
(User Info | Send a Message) | Let's see.
You completed five uphill sprints and THEN beat some ricer off the line?
DUDE! That is one hardcore ride.
Why do ricers do shit like that to their cars? For attention of course. What better way is there for them to go forth and proclaim "Look at me, I'm a dickhead!" loudly as they motor along? You are supposed to be impressed by his "total bass" audio system that puts out 1.21GW on the bass channels and 2W on the mid and tweeter while playing his gangsta-wannabe music. Everyone knows that the "Type-R" sticker adds 50HP, which goes to drive the oversize alternators necessary to power the noise generators and effect lighting. The tricked out plate frame makes it easier for the police to note the tag number as they write them up for being a public annoyance. The wing is VITAL to provide downdraft to counter the lift generated by the driver's overblown ego.
Ok. I made all that up. It's a turd. A turd wrapped in flash and sparkle, and accompanied by excessive rattling bass, but a turd nonetheless. |
Re: A Small Victory (Score: 1)
by homncruse on Friday, July 08 2005
(User Info | Send a Message) http://yaganet.org | Bloody Hell Joe! Has Lance already named you as his successor?
Awesome story. As others have said, the truly great part of your writing is how you take something so minute and stretch it so far so that it feels like a lifetime, but at the same time, it only happened in a matter of seconds. The attention to detail and the colorful phrases make us feel like we're THERE. I wanted to jump off my bike and into the Civic's window and beat the pulp out of the driver because I hate ricers and Civic drivers (usually the same group).
Now, it's not much bragging when I say that I have yet to lose a race against a Civic what with my 3.8L V6 Buick, but you - you, my friend have something to brag about. He measures his ego in horsepower; you measure yours in MANPOWER!
Three cheers for Joe.
Hip hip, hooray!
Hip hip, hooray!
Hip hip, hooray! |
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Re: A Small Victory (Score: 1)
by CKBD19 (thatguy@thatwebsite.com) on Friday, July 08 2005
(User Info | Send a Message) | | Another great story, Joe. It was worth the wait. And congrats on outdoing Vin Dickhead, as you so aptly put it. |
Re: A Small Victory (Score: 1)
by liquidcourage on Friday, July 08 2005
(User Info | Send a Message) | Kids do that for the attention and to distract other drivers, causing more accidents and deaths and to make them feel like hard-asses for it.
That or it's easier to see their car, therefore they have less of a desire to speed..? o.o
Great story, btw.. ^.^ |
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Re: A Small Victory (Score: 1)
by Kitty (blah@blah.com) on Friday, July 08 2005
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.xanga.com/Crys314 | Man, Joe. If you got anymore descriptive, I'd have to go lie down and catch my breath as well. I love the way you wrote this one. Two thumbs way up!
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Re: A Small Victory (Score: 1)
by eswnr (esweenor (at) charter (dot) net) on Friday, July 08 2005
(User Info | Send a Message) | For christssake, there are starving people in Botswana, and these nimrods are spending good money on tricking out a LICENSE PLATE. Can someone PLEASE explain to me why these freakshows do this? I’ll give you a free t-shirt if you can).
Well, I guess the simple answer is that it makes up for the unconscious realization that that person is in possession of any number of severe inadequacies, as a lover, as a friend, as a general person, in size of various fun body parts, or that their daddy didn't love them. This would just be the tip of the iceberg.
Of course, then there are those of us who just live those lives of quiet desperation with these characteristics. And those who keep saying "eh, I'll fix that rust next summer."
Anyway, that ride would have quite literally killed me. Bravo!
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Re: A Small Victory (Score: 1)
by MxZorin on Saturday, July 09 2005
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.ipecac.com | | Joe is X-treme. Like Cherone! The part he forgot to tell is that morning he was wearing his custom made G-Unit jersey. |
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Re: A Small Victory (Score: 1)
by LawlessAttitude on Wednesday, July 13 2005
(User Info | Send a Message | Journal) | | That guy was an asshole but implying that anyone who does something to their vehicle for cosmetic reasons only are 'freakshows' is kind of a dick thing to do. It's a hobby. |
Re: A Small Victory (Score: 1)
by homncruse on Friday, July 15 2005
(User Info | Send a Message) http://yaganet.org | | I agree with Joe here - it may be a dick thing to do, but I'm behind him all the way. If you're going to invest money in your car to make it appear faster, you could erm, I dunno, actually DO something that actually MAKES it faster? |
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Re: A Small Victory (Score: 1)
by poopdillyoop on Thursday, July 14 2005
(User Info | Send a Message) | | in a desperate attempt to obtain a free t-shirt, i googled "tricking out a license plate," to respond to your plea for an explanation as to why kids do this -- i hoped to find some reason, other than, "for attention" for modifying the license plate so that it be considered "tricked out." i crossed my fingers, licked my lips, tapped my pen to my laptop 3 times for luck, and waited for google to, as google often does, amaze me with little-known facts from far-flung www dot coms. alas, it was not meant to be -- google responded with your story, and your story only. further research on the matter was made impossible, as my office door swung open and there appeared my manager with a sour look on her face, waiting for me to join a conference call...sorry joe, i tried. no free shirt for me today. |
Re: A Small Victory (Score: 1)
by Joe the Peacock (Joe@mentallyincontinent.com) on Thursday, July 14 2005
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.mentallyincontinent.com | Actually, I failed to mention - I've already given away the T-shirt to someone who sent me a VERY lengthy explaination. I was kinda joking when I said it, but hell - anyone who went through what he did to explain what it's all about deserves a free shirt :)
SO, the free shirt offer has now expired. |
Re: A Small Victory (Score: 1)
by poopdillyoop on Friday, July 15 2005
(User Info | Send a Message) | | hehehehe. more power to him! i'm lucky to have gas in my car most days... |
Re: A Small Victory (Score: 1)
by Busnerd on Monday, July 18 2005
(User Info | Send a Message) | | I was pretty sure that people did that so you could ID them a half mile away...as an asshole... |
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