"Do it!" I heard from below. Over and over again, like the chanting at a gladiatorial exhibition in ancient Rome, my crowd chanted... As if I were clad in armor standing over a defeated lion; my sharpened trident poised over the neck of the beast. My audience stood with their necks craned upward, staring up at their vicarious avatar of adventure and strength. And all fifteen of them, with their high pitched pre-pubescent voices, chanted over and over again those two words whose weight grew more and more oppressive with each iteration:

"DO IT!"

I assessed the situation. It was a long shot, for sure... But hey, I'd overcome some pretty long shots in my life. Heck, I'd already cheated death twice! I was invincible! And this was my chance to prove it! Finally, all of the "cool kids" would see that I was actually the coolest of them all. Joe Peacock, the one boy who was brave enough to rescue the frisbee from the gutter, was going to top that with an even more insane display of bravery... They'd have no choice but to accept me into their ranks. Heck - since I was the bravest, I might even become their leader! How about that - going from being left out of every game and activity that day, to being the coolest kid at the whole slumber party... All in one fell swoop. And Jay said I wouldn't fit in... What did he know? He was just jealous.

"DO IT!" the crowd chanted again.

I stood at the edge of the roof, mentally calculating the odds. It wasn't the farthest I'd ever jumped - all I needed was a bit of speed, and I could clear the gap. I knew it. I felt it in my bones... My big, big bones. My bones which carried nearly 220lbs of baby fat. My bones which would surely gnarl and break the moment they careened off of the basketball goal and slammed into the driveway below... NO! I couldn't think about that. There wasn't time to be afraid. Fear didn't bring me past the 10th rung of the ladder, where Jason Petrona chickened out. Fear didn't get me to the 2nd floor window, where Marcus DeVries was a total pussy and started crying. Fear didn't swing my leg over the edge of the house and stand me up, and it certainly didn't get me to the edge of the gutter to rescue the frisbee. No, this was not the time for fear. This was the time... For GLORY.

I turned around and began walking to the middle of the roof. As soon as I did, a loud moan emanated from the crowd below, followed by cries of "Boo!" and "Wimp!" and "Pussy!" as I disappeared from their view. I could hear the naysayers go on about how they knew I wouldn't do it, and how I was nothing but a fat loser, and how I'd probably just careen off the basketball goal and onto the driveway below. I smiled as I turned around, knowing how I was going to make them eat their words.

I bent my right knee and assumed a sprinter's stance. With a slight grunt, I began churning my feet as hard as they could churn. As the edge of the roof approached me faster and faster, my heart began beating in my ears and my chest heaved with the task of keeping oxygen flowing through me. With every single step, I kept my eye planted on the point where I would have to make my final push... A point which grew closer and closer; forcing me to decide if I was going to pull up and be a chicken who was only at that slumber party because Matt's parents forced him to invite me, or if I was going to be the hero of the day.

Finally, I reached the edge of the house. I could hear huge gasps arise from the onlookers below as I re-entered their field of vision. I could hear Casper Williams yell "NO WAY!" as I planted my right foot and pushed off of it, leaping into the air. I felt the rush of adrenaline surge through my body as I left the roof and flew through the air, my legs still churning as I sailed over the driveway where my soon-to-be new best friends stood watching. I could smell the airy scent of pine as I drew closer to the tree directly in front of me, the target of my stunt. I felt the needles of the tree brush against my hands and arms as they shot forward in an attempt to grab the large branch that my eyes were locked onto.

With a dull thud, my body slammed against the trunk of the tree as my left arm hooked itself over the branch I was aiming for. My right arm and both legs quickly wrapped themselves around the tree as it arched forward in response to my sudden collision with it. What little air was left in my lungs shot out of them and for a moment, I was stunned - both by the impact and by the fact that I'd actually made it and wasn't a greasy spot of broken bones that had careened off of the basketball goal and onto the driveway.

I could hear the muttering from the group of kids below me... They were as stunned as I was. But fortunately for me, they regained their composure far quicker, eliciting a thunderous round of applause and cheering. I couldn't believe it... I mean, I thought that this was going to be a moment of triumph, sure... But to actually hear these boys who had spent years tormenting me and teasing me go from admonishment to admiration, well... It was easily the high point of my young life.

I huffed the damp smell of pine bark as I attempted to regain my breath. I could taste bits of tree clinging to my lips, and sap was slowly soaking into my shirt. My left armpit was burning as nearly all of my weight sat squarely on the branch which was wedged beneath it. I began to unwrap myself from the trunk of the tree in an attempt to find a branch to stand on; alas, the moment I unclenched myself, I began to slip. Panic set in and I retightened my grip around the tree.

My eyes shut tight. Tears began to form - partly from the pain that began burning in my arms and legs, partly from the awareness that, in about ten seconds, every single cool point I'd just earned from my bravery was going to be devalued in the world economy of junior high to the point where they couldn't even buy me a nod in the hallway, cause I was stuck.

"Come on, get down you big pussy!" I heard someone yell from below.

"I... I CAN'T!" I screamed back.

"Just let go, the branches will catch you!" someone else said.

"Yeah, then they'll break under the weight of your fat ass!" another fellow jeered, followed by chuckles and laughter.

"Someone... Please help!" I begged. "Grab the ladder... Help me out!"

Murmurs and discussion ensued. I could hear the light buzzing of argument amongst those present, followed by... Well, nothing. They all went inside, leaving me there to hang by an armpit in a pine tree.

"Help... Help! HELP!!!" I yelled. Over and over again, I cried for help... My arm burned. My legs burned. My eyes burned. My lungs burned. I was slowly running out of strength, and adrenaline was beginning to give way to lactic acid as my body began to cramp. I couldn't hold on much longer...

"Oh my GOD," I heard from below. It was Matt's mother. "Joe, honey... Oh my GOD!" She ran back into the house.

Great. There went my only chance at getting the hell down from... No wait, there she is. And she has the cordless phone. And she's talking into it... What's that? Oh NO! NO NO NO - you did NOT just call the damn fire department! Oh God... Man, I am NEVER going to live this down!

"Don't worry, Joe," Mrs. Harrelson said, "They're on their way - they'll get you down soon!"

"Shit," I muttered under my breath. If the damn fire department had to get me down, I'd be the laughing stock of the school... Not that was I wasn't already, but this would make things FAR worse... Although, it wouldn't be as bad as if they knew about the act I was going to do at the talent show... Still! I couldn't let this happen! I had to get down before the fire department arrived.

Once again, I surveyed the branches below me, looking for one I could step on. I couldn't find an immediate candidate, so I took a chance and began searching for one with my left foot. I felt something at my toes... Yes - this could be a candidate! I tried to place my foot on it, and in the process, loosened my grip on the tree with my right arm and leg - which caused my left arm to rake against the branch it was on and my whole body to slide down the tree.

Panic gave way to relief and then immediate pain as a branch found its way between my legs, both stopping my fall and any notion that I was going to go anywhere anytime soon. As a sharp and severe pain pulsated from my testicles throughout my entire body, I conceded that, just maybe, waiting for the fire department wasn't such a bad idea after all.

I won't lie - I was honored that a rescue effort was organized around me. The siren of the fire engine was one of the most comforting sounds I'd heard in my entire life, and when the brave man in the yellow and black coat wrapped his arms around my body and helped me onto the ladder, I was relieved... Until we got to the bottom, where the crowd of boys who went from hating me to loving me to hating me again sat watching the entire event unfold.

I wanted to break down and cry. I knew that this event would not go unpunished - not just because I had to be rescued, but because Matt's mother had already given the entire group the business about leaving me in the tree (and pushing me to jump into it in the first place). I knew that she was going to call the other mothers, and that my mother would follow suit. I knew that each and every one of those boys was going to get another talking-to, which meant that my ass was accountable for two separate series of punishments.

My entire body was one large abrasion, and my clothes and skin were sticky with blood and sap. I was going to be public enemy number one at school, and it was very likely that - even if my mother allowed it, which there was no way she would - that I'd never be invited to another slumber party again. But as I sat on the back bumper of the fire truck and let the paramedics tend to the deeper cuts on my body, I couldn't help but smile. Even though my adolescent mind couldn't quite comprehend the full weight of the concept, some part of me knew that I'd just done something none of the other boys were brave enough (or stupid enough) to try.

It wouldn't matter how much they picked on me the rest of that year - I knew that it was only because they were jealous. Or, perhaps it was because I was the fat kid who did stupid crap like jumping from roofs of houses into pine trees just to try to get kids to like him... Who knows. Nothing they did could change the fact that I, the fat loser kid, was a hero to those boys... if only for a moment.