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Hey. Well. For the purposes of this story, what you'll need to know are the following: I am a stripper. My stripper-name is Jesse. I sometimes write about my odd or funny stripper experiences for my memoirs. I'm looking forward to having REALLY good stories for appalling my children and impressing my grandchildren.
I’ve decided that anytime I’m getting ready to tell a particularly catty story about someone, it would be best to change their name to keep them protected. There’s always a slim chance that their attitude or their habits will improve, and they may not want tales like this following them around for the rest of their life. The good things I figure, I can include actual names for. But really – I’m not sure I should have to. The stripper names I’d be using aren’t even real names. In fact, everyone I’m talking about will have a real name, a stripper name, and a journal name. Christ is that confusing.
So, this new girl started dancing at our club about 3 months ago. Unfortunately for her, her mind was laden with the usual crap stereotypes about strippers. She seems to have made 2 fatal assumptions: 1. That we are stupid. 2. That what she says to each customer is private and confidential.
Along that line, there is a joke between me and one of my customers. He’s an attorney. One day he brought in a friend, who was trying to pick my brain from the moment he sat down. “Is Joel friendly? Is Joel generous? Does he come here often?” It is considered poor taste to talk about one client to another, so I just gave Joel’s friend a very grave look. “I’m sorry sir. I cannot discuss Joel's habits with you. He has attorney client privilege, you see. He’s an attorney, and he’s my client, therefore I cannot discuss any of our transactions with you.” This sent Joel’s friend, who was another attorney into fits of hysteria, and caused a rash of other similar comments. “That man over there is another one of my regulars, but I cannot talk about him with you either. He and I have a doctor-patient relationship, which I cannot talk about without a court order. You see, I have to be very patient with him, and since we’ve been playing ‘doctor,’ it would be bad for me to kiss and tell…” And so on through priests and other confidential relationships. We all giggled ourselves silly and went home feeling very clever. But let us not stray too far from the tale.
When Gerity started, she was pretty enough, in a girl next-door kind of way, but not exactly one of the most exotic gems in the sparkling tiara that is our club. She was quiet and didn’t socialize with the other dancers. We didn’t push the issue, because we like to respect a girl’s right to just come in, do her job, and go home with as little drama as possible.
But then we realized WHY she wasn’t talking to us. It wasn't that she was shy- She didn’t want to taint herself with our dirty stripperly ways. She was overheard talking to several different customers, and saying things like, “Well if you ask me, I’m the most beautiful girl here.” And “Oh, I’m not really a stripper; I just do this on the side. I have another job.” My favorite was when she came over to a group of three guys that I had been dancing for, and said “Now how about letting a REAL woman dance for you?” like she thought I couldn’t hear. She then realized her mistake and turned to me and commented, “I saw you over here by yourself, and figured you couldn’t handle three guys all alone.”
This is where the title of this little parable comes into play. Those comments were a SEVERE TACTICAL ERROR. We understand and forgive the fact that other women who are NOT strippers, sometimes hold themselves to be better than the women who are. This is why not all women are strippers, and why those women who ARE strippers are able to make so much money. However, if you decide to BE a stripper, you cannot expect to reap the rewards of stripperdom while looking down your nose at it. You cannot take off your clothes for money, and say that you are “not really a stripper.” That’s like saying that someone is “kinda pregnant.” You either ARE or you AREN’T.
Within two weeks of entering the club, Gerity managed to piss off the entire daylight staff with one comment or another. As usual, I was the last to hear the gossip, despite the fact that I was one of the first to feel the cool of her distain. (I had brushed off her comments as over-eager puppy bravado. Her comment about me not being able to handle three men merely caused a raised brow, as I’ve probably been handling multiple customers since she was struggling with high school algebra. I didn’t have to do a DAMN thing about her comment about letting a REAL woman dance. The customer was laughing at her by the time she was done dancing. It’s really hard to dance like a “real woman” when you’re still trying to figure out how to walk properly in 7 inch heels. She’d been dancing for a whole week at that point, and I knew that she’d hang herself with her own rope without me even lifting a finger, so I let it slide. Call me a pacifist by virtue of sheer laziness.) I realized that Gerity was doomed to a good Puritan Shunning when every time she walked by, one of the other girls would lean over and whisper loudly, “There goes Gerity. Did you know that she’s the most beautiful girl here?” Whatever customer was present at the time would then leap to where the statement was leading with the confused reply, “Well, I suppose she’s pretty enough, but I wouldn’t go as far as to say she’s the most beautiful girl here. You girls are just as pretty/far prettier/make her look like dog meat.” This would then open up the floor for the whole background story of Gerity and her insults from whichever girl started the conversation in the first place. Once the customer was caught up on all the gossip, then general cattiness could ensue with full customer participation.
I don’t generally participate in too much cattiness, myself. It’s not to say that I don’t get an evil sort of pleasure out of being catty to those who truly deserve it, but I like to stay under the managerial radar. Our club changes management like most people change their unmentionables, and every time management changes, dancers get fired. Some of the best dancers at our club have been fired 5 or 6 times, for no other reason than that they were noticed at the wrong time. Thus I go out of my way to be neither exceptional nor terrible. Getting involved in drama and being called into the principal’s office is one of the fastest ways of getting noticed, and it’s also the quickest way to end up with an unsightly black eye – thus I avoid cattiness for purposes of continued employment and general good health.
Nevertheless, sometimes even I can’t resist. Especially when I’ve been wronged twice in as many breaths. I’m pretty mellow, but should never be brushed off as “mostly harmless.”
Two weeks after the Shunning began; I was gritting my teeth through a conversation that Gerity was monopolizing between my customer and me, and the friend that my customer had brought in to meet me. My customer was rolling his eyes because Gerity wouldn’t go away, and I was just waiting for the next song to start. By way of creating a “valid interruption” my customer had given me money to dance for his friend “as soon as possible.” Thus “politely” leaving Gerity with nothing better to do than leave gracefully or make an ass of herself. But then she started up again with her infamous phrases. “I’m not really a stripper. I just do this on the side. I have another job, you know.”
Poison rushed though my veins and I couldn’t resist. “Oh, really? Where else do you work?” I inquired politely.
“Pizza Hut,” she replied with chirpy confidence. My customer choked on his beer.
You either ARE a stripper, or you AREN’T. This is not to say that you can’t be MORE in addition to being a stripper. I’m a stripper, and I love being a stripper, but I also love being a geek. Strippers don’t get health insurance or 401k’s so I also have a job in Information Technology. I work in the network operations center of a Fortune 500 company as a technical support specialist. For the most part, in my job as a stripper, that particular tidbit is irrelevant, but that is why my customer choked on his beer.
“That’s nice,” I commented with false sincerity. “Are you a manager there?”
“No. My friend just got me the job. I’m a cashier. That’s why I have to leave early on Fridays. I have to go to work.” My customer was still choking, and I was thinking about patting him on the back, but he leaned over and snapped my garter in reference to the couple of times I’ve been on call, and bopping around the club with a cell phone strapped to my garter. Sometimes I too have to leave the club early for “work.” Usually it’s because of a software application outage, or because the T1 line between Pittsburgh and Singapore bit it.
Fortunately, in the interests of my personal karma, the next song started, and I had to get up and dance without bursting Gerity’s confidence bubble. She left the table thinking that she’d impressed us all with the fact that she “wasn’t really a stripper.”
The next day I worked, I was sitting with a customer, who turned to me conversationally as Gerity walked by. “There goes Gerity,” he said. “I heard that she was the most beautiful girl you slackers have to offer.” Oh Lord. Someone needs to take away that girl’s shovel, before she buries herself any deeper in this hole she’s dug…
“You too?” I responded mildly. “I heard that beauty was all a matter of opinion.” I was feeling generous that day, and kind of guilty for inciting a customer to laugh at her earlier.
“Yup.” He and I were silent for a bit as we watched Gerity jerk and shuffle her way around the stage with a white knuckle grip on whatever rail, customer or pole was closest, in a desperate attempt to keep from landing on her ass.
“Her customers probably do think she’s the most beautiful girl in the club.” I offered reasonably. “My boyfriend thinks I’m the most beautiful girl in the world.”
Gerity squatted and humped her pelvis in an unusual move that was meant to look alluring, if the come hither look on her face was anything to go by. She looked constipated. “She may be the most beautiful girl in the club, but she still can’t dance, and I don’t care who’s opinion you’re asking.” My customer remarked snidely, as he pulled me up out of my chair for a dance.
Later on that same day, one of the more volatile night shift girls ran across Gerity, and sat down next to me with an appalled look on her face. “I can’t believe you guys haven’t taken her out in the parking lot and broken her kneecaps!”
“Now, now.” I finally felt the urge to cut this off Gerity-targeted-mischief at the pass. Hurt feelings are one thing, but this girl was Miami/Vegas old school stripper, and she wasn’t kidding about the kneecaps. “You know we’re the kinder-gentler shift here on daylight. We figure she’s either going to straighten out after awhile, or we’ll make her so miserable she’ll quit.” To salve Cory’s indignation I told her exaggerated tales of Gerity’s humiliation until Cory’s bloodlust subsided into cackles of glee.
A month later, all the subtle digs and thinly veiled whispering finally started to get to Gerity. She sat down with Joel (The attorney, who was also the customer that thought Gerity couldn't dance in anyone’s opinion.) and sighed with dejection. “I don’t think the girls here like me.”
“Really?” he said, looking surprised. (Joel has been a regular of the club for as many years as I have been working there. He usually sits with no fewer than 3 girls at a time, is a friend to most of us, and a drinking buddy to all of us. He hears twice as much gossip as any of us, and gleefully fills us in on all of it. I think it’s backlash from all that attorney client privilege he’s holding in. Anyway…)
“I heard them saying that I think that I’m the most beautiful girl in the club. I don’t think that. I don’t even think that I’m pretty.”
“Would you like me to cry you a river?” The thing I like about Joel is that he’s a smartass. He’s a litigation attorney for criminal court, so he rarely ever stumbles, and shows no mercy when he’s having a good time. I love fencing with the man, but have had to sink to getting him drunk on several occasions, because it was the only way I could avoid losing the argument. The man will yell “FREEBIRD!!!” and “I’ve seen better!” when I’m on stage hanging up-side-down off the pole. Other customers are horrified if they don’t understand the ritual. The girls that shrink and cry about his heckling only get a $5 tip. The girls that bellow back, “I’d like to see you shave your legs and try it, fatass!!” get the $20 tips.
“I don’t understand,” wailed Gerity. Plunging deeper into her bid for sympathy. “I’ve never said anything mean to any of them.”
“Ah, but have you been saying mean things about them?” Joel countered. At this point, Gerity realized that she was NOT talking to someone who was going to try to sooth her with cash. She fled.
“They aren’t deaf, you know!” he yelled after her.
After the lunch crowd thinned to a trickle, Evie and I were sitting at the bar, having a shot together. Evie is one of my few stoic daylight counterparts. Beautiful and as easy on the mind as sunshine, she said to me, “I think Gerity’s starting to feel the heat.”
“Mmmm.” We both lit cigarettes, and I savored my Bailey’s and coffee. “Well, she’ll either straighten out and make amends, or she’ll quit in another week or two.”
“She doesn’t piss you off?”
“Not really. She’s not a threat to me. The reason I avoid her is that I feel like a circling shark near a one legged surfer every time she opens her mouth. It’s SO HARD to resist nibbling a bit.”
“Yeah.” Evie took a slow sip off her Almond Joy and stared off into space. “She’s going to have to kiss a lot of ass to make things right.”
“Or prove that she was just too stupid to know any better.”
“Would that really work?”
“It worked for Tia. She pissed off EVERYONE when she started. I nearly had her for lunch after she deliberately stole a champagne room from Hailey.”
“Really? I didn’t know that.”
“Mmmm. Then she managed to prove that she was too stoned and stupid to know better. So we learned her, and she stuck around for a year or two after she figured out who she’d best not mess with.”
“Huh.”
Both of us stared off into space for a while, and then the arrival of customers broke off our reverie. Ever since, Gerity’s been making a big effort to be nice to all the girls that were hired after she was. She’s trying for a good start with those who don’t know what she can be like. We haven’t warned them away from her, but we’re still waiting for our apology.
All of that brings us up to the present date and the moral of the story - if there's one to be had. I'm still trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but I think her pre-conceived notions about strippers may end up doing her in. Either, she's been hanging out with the wrong crowd, or the reason she didn't really want to think of herself as a stripper, is that she thinks that strippers are whores.
I caught her grinding on the customers last Friday. This was no accidental brush. It was an honest to god grind. On more than one customer. If she gets caught she will be fired. Welcome to Pennsylvania. Home of the 6 inch butt hover.
Here is how I suspect this unfortunate situation came to pass.
- Gerity heard that strippers make a lot of money.
- Gerity became a stripper.
- Gerity was told on her first day, that we do not grind on the customers, because we are LADIES.
- Gerity failed to make money because she is inexperienced, whiney, and cannot dance.
- Gerity concluded incorrectly that she is not making money because she is competing with whores.
- Gerity is becoming a whore to compete with her imaginary whores. Had she bothered to talk to some of the experienced dancers, we would have explained that she is dancing too fast, too jerkily, not making eye contact with her customers, and complaining to much for customers to want to buy a dance in the first place.
- Gerity's repeat customers are now the perverts that only came in to get off.
- Gerity will incorrectly conclude that everyone who makes lots of money is sleeping with the customers.
- Gerity will either quit before she becomes a prostitute, or greed, ignorance, and pride will make her a whore.
The experience is no more and no less what you make of it. If you think of yourself as a whore, that is what you will become. If you think of yourself as an entertainer, you may even find yourself entertained by your antics. I suppose I should pull her aside and explain things to her, but she refuses to make eye contact with me. She avoided me all day the other day, when all I was trying to do was let her know that she had a discarded pasty stuck to the middle of her chest, making her look like she was trying to hide a third nipple. So she walked around with her third nipple for about 5 hours.
My mean side really doesn't want to help this snotty little brat, but I don't think I can let her do something that will make her cry herself to sleep for the rest of her life. I may have to corner her and give her a good stern Talking To. This will also be hard, as I'm going to get mild amounts of shit from all the other dancers who were having fun watching her send herself to hell in a hand basket. This is where my tenure will be to my benefit. I can handle disgruntled dancers.
Don't you go thinking I'm all nice, though. I'd love to watch her crash and burn, and I'm pissed that I'm about to kill some perfectly good drama. But the reason that I'm such a HAPPY person, is that I've defined my moral boundaries, and stuck to my guns when tempted to bend or break my pre-defined rules. Not helping someone when it is perfectly within my power to do so, would be against the rules, and make me feel lousy in the long run, so I'm going to have a few words with her.
Whether or not she chooses to listen is completely up to her.
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Posted on Friday, June 06 2003
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COMMENTS / EDITS
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Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by suacysuacy on Friday, June 06 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | | Great job. The nighttime dancers sound scary; so if I ever go to a strip club I'll be sure to go when I won't end up witness to a brutal assault in the back lot. |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by Jesse on Friday, June 06 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | Night time girls aren't THAT scary. They're just... MORE. More Fabulous, more over the top, more boobylicious, more false eyelashes, more obnoxious, more drunk, more limber, more, more, more.
Some of them are so MUCH more that they've surpassed fantastic, and become cartoonishly unreal... But that's what makes working at a club so unbelievably interesting... In a train-wreck kinda way... |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by suacysuacy on Friday, June 06 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | | Yeah it's all in good fun. I'll stick to being "too romantic" for strip clubs until I become less naive heh. I admire it as a saucy art that is certainly as valid a job as any, and it's too bad that gerity has so many predetermined notions about what strippers are supposed to be. She could be having a lot of fun otherwise. |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by Joe The Peacock on Friday, June 06 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.mentallyincontinent.com | You said Saucy.
And your name is Suacy.
AND I HAVE NO POINT!
Since I'm feeling WACKY, it's time for a RANDOM CONTEST!
(expect to see these every so often in very random parts of the website):
And now, for my next number, I will return to the classics. Perhaps, the most famous classic in all the world of music.
Plug 1.
Plug 2.
A free copy of the book (when it comes out) to the first person to tell me where that statement is from.
This is a serious offer. Post your answer here for it to count - emails and PM's are fine, but they won't count. |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by suacysuacy on Friday, June 06 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | de la soul - plug tunin
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Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by suacysuacy on Friday, June 06 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | | yes thank you =] |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by vaslle on Friday, June 06 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) http://what? no | you can google it
you can jeeves it
you can even lycos it
we're not angels |
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Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by Jesse on Friday, June 06 2003
(User Info | Send a Message | Journal) | I know I didn't just shock a bunch of Puritans.
What? Have y'all not had any coffee yet?
I find it hard to believe that no one has anything to say... |
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Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by MyBrainHurts (Biteme@myass.now) on Friday, June 06 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | A stripper, an IT pro, and a very well spoken writer. You certainly are a whole lotta woman.
Now if it turns out you're an outstanding cook too, every guy here will be searching the clubs in Pennsylvania one by one.
This guest chapter was a great idea Joe. The widespread, almost random subjects of the stories put a different spin on the site, if only for a couple weeks. Refreshing. |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by Jesse on Friday, June 06 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | I can cook just about anything just as long as you have an acurate recipe for it.
My dad (a research chemist who deals with chlorine and other extremely toxic gasses) taught me how to cook... Most of my cooking runs like a chem lab assignment, with me not getting terribly creative lest the lasagne explode and emit noxious fumes... Dude... You should see my dad measure flour. He levels it with a knife, like it's some sort of volitile substance that will poison the masses if added in impropper proportions. I'm not quite THAT anal, but well... I guess watching me cook is a disconcerting enough experience that mostly the boys in my life prefer to cook for me.
Though they swear that my biscuits are the shiznit.
And, yeah, Joe! Props to you for sharing your fame, (fortune?), and glory with all us aspiring writers! This was fun! |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by Joe The Peacock on Friday, June 06 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.mentallyincontinent.com | Fame? Fortune?
I know nothing of what you speak. Should I ever get fame or fortune (or both), you and everyone else on the site are certainly welcome to your fair share of it - without you guys, MI is nothing. |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by Mekanikos on Friday, June 06 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | Do you know how to cook grits?
mmmm |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by G-ray on Monday, July 28 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | | I don't know what's cooler; that you are this uber-awesome stripper, geek, writer or that your dad is a research chemist. It's close |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by Joe The Peacock on Friday, June 06 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.mentallyincontinent.com | This guest chapter was a great idea Joe. The widespread, almost random subjects of the stories put a different spin on the site, if only for a couple weeks. Refreshing.
Should I assume from this statement that you find MY writing stale and boring?
Now, I will cry and sob. SOB, I SAY |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by MyBrainHurts (Biteme@myass.now) on Friday, June 06 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | Well Joe, as you know, I've not been here long. I log on at work, and stop reading stories off the internet three times an hour to talk on the radio. I burninated my way through your archives in a few hilarious hours. After reading of your past antics, I crave more. This led me to read the comments that I had previously skipped over. Turns out my fellow members have quite a few stories to tell as well. Letting them horn in on your gig is a cool way of doing it.
I certainly do look forward to your return, but it's probably good to pace yourself a little I suppose. Even a man with a million stories is out of stories after the millionth, right?
And as a resident of Iowa who has been to Des Moines a thousand times, and will be attending college 20 miles north of there, the "Turning Japanese" story has become the coup de grace, a piece that I show all my friends. Brilliant. I must find that place and order a round of seppuku with a side of bukkake. |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by MyBrainHurts (Biteme@myass.now) on Friday, June 06 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | | That would rule, but I can barely get myself on the radio at this point. Everything is so watered down and unoriginal anymore. It's cliche I know, but Corporate America really is ruining everything. That's why I'm getting out of here. Oh, that and the pay blows. Maybe I can learn how to make balloon animals at college. |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by actmodern on Saturday, June 07 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | I think that what made this site hilarious isn't really being delivered with the guest stories. Your style of writing, and the situations you've got yourself into are funny. "Glass Breakage Month" was right on track, so was "Midgets, Firearms and Underage Drinking!"
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Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by jendemonium (jennifer@ihatefreddurst.n3t) on Saturday, June 07 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.ihatefreddurst.com | Personally, I dig Jesse's story, and can't wait til she DOES put out her memoirs. Sure, it doesn't follow the same vein as most of Joe's stuff, but it's well-written, observant, interesting, and intelligent. You can tell that she took the time to craft it. And I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.
I still don't think you get the point of the guest stories. You probably STILL haven't read up on the reason they're being posted.
And you were given a chance, a SPECIAL chance that was PASSED the deadline, to submit your own story, so that it could be placed on the site. You have a little under 30 hours (from what I've been told just now) to get it to Joe. It took me an hour to write the original cookie story, and then an hour to revise and edit, as needed, over the period of a couple days. Two hours total. I do believe you've had about a week now.
So where's your masterpiece, fucker? You're so special and think that you can sit here and comment from the peanut gallery? What happened to putting your money where your mouth is? I want to see some results. Now. |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by actmodern on Saturday, June 07 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | | I thought my deadline was tommorow? I just asked Joe which way he wants me to submit. |
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Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by jendemonium (jennifer@ihatefreddurst.n3t) on Friday, June 06 2003
(User Info | Send a Message | Journal) http://www.ihatefreddurst.com | Well damn woman, make with the book already! I have a sick-but-not-perverted fascination with strippers and have always enjoyed hearing sordid tales of the unsexed and gullible.
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Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by ninekayoh on Friday, June 06 2003
(User Info | Send a Message | Journal) | I can't say i've ever really thought about what the job of a stripper entails, but it's quite interesting to hear about the stripper/customer relationship. In that it's not like exchanging money for a service, like say a tune-up on your car, it's more of a personal thing, which i wouldn't have guessed had i been asked! So today my mind has been enlightened a little more.. thankyou!
great story, thanks :) |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by Jesse on Friday, June 06 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | Well, it may not be a service like getting a tune up on a car, but for many customers, it's a service like going to visit a shrink. Only shrinks have to have degrees to listen to peoples problems. I only have to undress, and people start unloading their problems on me. Or they want to "play shrink" with me, and tell me what they think my problems are. I think I have a 3 page rant about that somewhere in my journal...
And for some people, it is more of a personal thing, but I really try to avoid that. Those guys fall in love with you, and that makes for some seriously awkward conversations down the road. I try to keep it on the level of a sketch artist who sells "art" for a set price. A measure of my talent can be yours for the low, low price of $15/song. Wheee! |
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Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by datazone on Friday, June 06 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | | You got to love the relaxed rules in dallas... All nude, full contact table dances. My biggest problem with strip clubs is the guys who do not know to keep their hands off of the dancers. But do not judge me, if i am getting a dance and she moves my hands from my side onto here body, i am not going to protest... |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by Jesse on Saturday, June 07 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | | Every state is different, and that can make things tricky. But you (and the dancer) will do well if you ask about the local customs on your way in the door. That way you can be sure to fit in smoothly and have a good time. PA has two different sets of rules. Rules for clubs that serve alcohol, and rules for clubs that don't. What the LCB has to do with nekkid wimmen, I will never know... |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by unclesharky on Saturday, June 07 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) http://news.unclesharky.com | What the LCB has to do with me buying between 13 and 18 beers in one purchase, I'll never know...Having to buy a case of beer at at time is making me drink more, not less.
They need to abolish the LCB and go free market, it's the only way. It will drive prices down and create MANY more jobs in the state. Lower paying jobs yes, but it would reduce government and increase small business ownership. Even if you don't want to chop all those people off the government rolls, just have them help FIX THE FUCKING ROADS instead of sell me overpriced Jack Daniels!
Is it a bad sign that I've thought this much about the LCB and have not mentioned nekkid wimmens in my post once? |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by vaslle on Sunday, June 08 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) http://what? no | thanks joe
this way i didn't have to be the one to ask
or search it
i'm tired of searching things |
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Overcompensation? (Score: 1)
by actmodern on Saturday, June 07 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | Why are strippers always so defensive about their profession? Wouldn't it make more sense not to say things like:
"This is why not all women are strippers, and why those women who ARE strippers are able to make so much money."
You don't need to defend the virtues of your profession by pointing out the fact that you think you make more than women who choose another profession.
Don't get me started on Technical Support people, whether you work out of a NOC or a call center -- I've seen way too many tools work that job.
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Re: Overcompensation? (Score: 1)
by jendemonium (jennifer@ihatefreddurst.n3t) on Saturday, June 07 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.ihatefreddurst.com | They're defensive because of people like you, who choose to pick apart everything people do and say, for no good reason, other than to make yourself feel falsely superior to everyone else.
Get over yourself.
As for tech support and NOC employees, I don't give a fuck how many tools you've seen work that job. They provide a major service that needs to be done. And right now, the only tool I see here is you. |
Re: Overcompensation? (Score: 1)
by actmodern on Saturday, June 07 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | Talk about being catty :-)
It's a saturday night. Go out and get hammered :P |
Re: Overcompensation? (Score: 1)
by jendemonium (jennifer@ihatefreddurst.n3t) on Saturday, June 07 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.ihatefreddurst.com | OH THAT IS RICH!
You're saying that I'M being catty? Dude, fuck you. You're sitting here, trolling almost every story submitted by someone other than Joe.
The only hammering I'd like to do is on your skull with my boot. Knock some sense into ya. |
Re: Overcompensation? (Score: 1)
by actmodern on Saturday, June 07 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | Trolling?
I came here, read some really good stories and just lurked. Then I saw some not so good stories and I clicked on a button that led me to a forum with comments, and I commented.
If saying anything negative is trolling all of a sudden then I'm guilty of it.
* In response to your other post: when Joe lets me know his preference for submitting I'll submit. My story is already written up. If he and his editor deem it worthwhile, and I hope they do, they can put it on the front page and claim it their property.
* I don't have all the time in the world. I had to wait until Saturday to write the story. I think it's decent and I hope you, and others enjoy it.
* Evidently I've hit a nerve with you. Maybe you don't like criticism which is funny considering you run a whole website making fun of a celebrity.
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Re: Overcompensation? (Score: 1)
by jendemonium (jennifer@ihatefreddurst.n3t) on Saturday, June 07 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.ihatefreddurst.com | You haven't offered any constructive criticism. You just talk shit. That's trolling.
None of us have all the time in the world. I have a very busy life. Only reason I'm on right now is due to my back being fucked up, so I'm not going out tonight. You had to wait until Saturday? You had all week. You could have worked on it in bits and pieces. Besides, that's not what I heard... so don't lie ;)
You've hit a nerve with me because I don't like people who can't offer constructive criticism to people, and just like to talk shit. The guest writers aren't necessarily as adept at sticking to Joe's typical format, because - as I've stated previously - THEY ARE NOT JOE. Oh look, logic. Use it sometime. It's your friend.
So quit holding them up to your own personal standards. This is Joe's website. He chose his favorite stories of those submitted and put them on the site. So are you saying that Joe's taste is shitty? Because that's what it sounds like to me. And the entire point of having a GUEST chapter is for it to NOT BE JOE. If the guest stories sounded like Joe's, then what's the point? Why not just have Joe write an extra chapter? Ah, crap... there's that logic thing again.
As far as Fred goes, that site is a JOKE. It's not MEANT to be taken seriously, and never has been. Most people don't take it seriously, but seeing as how you have proven to have almost no sense of humor (I say almost because you do find Joe's stories funny - for the most part - and that's a positive thing), you obviously wouldn't understand that. Hell, I state that it's not a serious site many times, on the website itself. But you wouldn't know that, because I'm sure you never bothered to actually do the research.
(Besides, Fred makes a fool of himself on a regular basis... much like yourself! |
Re: Overcompensation? (Score: 1)
by actmodern on Saturday, June 07 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | Um, what did you hear? I started writing it at 7 pm EST today and got done a little while after responding to your replies :-) Boy I must be quite the topic of conversation. Feel free to do this via private messages or e-mail.
I don't have any time during the week. I have one day free a week. Today. I do absolutely nothing or something very fun on Saturdays. I gave up today to write that story as well as do some things around my house.
I'm sorry that you feel I've been offering non-productive criticism. Maybe you're right. I won't say anything negative from now on. Even when a story about an insecure stripper gets posted where it's so sad and depressing (you have a Pizza Hut stripper and a NOC stripper duking it out on who is more pretty and who has a better "real" job) that I simply had to say something.
jendomonium, I feel you need to relax just a tad. You've told me I should get a boot in my skull, that I have no sense of humour, and somehow began to compare me to some rap singer whom I've never even listened to.
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Re: Overcompensation? (Score: 1)
by jendemonium (jennifer@ihatefreddurst.n3t) on Saturday, June 07 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.ihatefreddurst.com | Fred is a rap singer? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
That's fucking funny.
As for relaxing... I'm a very relaxed person. Probably too relaxed, for as much stress as I deal with on a daily basis. Until someone starts acting dumb. And then I get a good laugh from making fun of them. Hence, flaming you.
What constructive criticism have you offered? All you pretty much say is that the stories suck and Joe needs to choose better ones. That's it.
Jesse knows that she's good looking and has nothing to prove. She's secure with the fact that she CHOOSES to strip, because she ENJOYS it. It's not just for the money, it's not just for the attention, it's because she enjoys every aspect of it. But it's a job, so yeah, there's going to be stupid co-workers, stupid customers, and retarded naysayers that just don't understand (ie; you).
And what you need to do is stop thinking about what I need to do, and start thinking about changing your attitude towards people that you've never had a conversation with. Jesse doesn't seem insecure to me in the slightest. She seems like a very level-headed woman who is doing what she chooses to do with her life. She isn't hurting you with her choices, so why the hell do you care what she does for a living? And quit being so damned bitter about NOCs. It's bordering on pathetic. |
Re: Overcompensation? (Score: 1)
by actmodern on Saturday, June 07 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | I don't care what she does.
You still haven't told me what you heard. I'd love to know who and what said what about me all this week -- people I don't even know apparently. |
Re: Overcompensation? (Score: 1)
by jendemonium (jennifer@ihatefreddurst.n3t) on Saturday, June 07 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.ihatefreddurst.com | I'm not really partial to giving out information that I'm privvy to. But if you do a bit of research you can figure things out for yourself. So what does it matter?
And if you don't care what Jesse does, then why the hell are you talking negatively about her story and saying that she's insecure? You don't even know her. Sounds like a load of hypocrasy to me! :) |
Re: Overcompensation? (Score: 1)
by ogopogo on Saturday, June 07 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | GAAA, too many words! Stop yelling at each other on a reply board for a great story!
Man...i seriously need a life..
ogo |
Re: Overcompensation? (Score: 1)
by Joe The Peacock on Sunday, June 08 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.mentallyincontinent.com | Wow.
I step out for one evening and a forum thread explodes.
*sigh*
Just mop up any blood that's spilled and turn the lights out before you lock up, please. |
Re: Overcompensation? (Score: 1)
by vaslle on Sunday, June 08 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) http://what? no | oh, i thought he was talking about the other girl when he said insecure stripper
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Re: Overcompensation? (Score: 1)
by Reflections on Monday, December 08 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | | Bahahahaaaa... |
Re: Overcompensation? (Score: 1)
by Jesse on Sunday, June 08 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | I'm sorry that you feel I've been offering non-productive criticism. Maybe you're right. I won't say anything negative from now on. Even when a story about an insecure stripper gets posted where it's so sad and depressing (you have a Pizza Hut stripper and a NOC stripper duking it out on who is more pretty and who has a better "real" job) that I simply had to say something.
Jendemonium: Thanks for the compliments and support.
Actmodern: I think you may have missed the point of the story entirely. The REASON we were all annoyed/amused with Gerity is because she thought that her little Pizza Hut job made her better than us. The point was NOT that anyone is better than anyone else, but that we're all equal. Equally insecure, equally silly, equally pretty. The other point of this story was HUMOR. Some of the major tools of which are exaggeration and steriotyping. I was trying to point out the ridiculousness of the situations I see on a daily basis. I'd be sorry that what is funny to one man is not funny to another, but that's the way of all things involving taste. Thank goodness, I suppose, or all men would like blonds with thin bodies, huge bazooms, and two braincells. I have a really dumb Asian joke, if you think that'll make you laugh... |
Re: Overcompensation? (Score: 1)
by Elfstone on Monday, June 09 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | Asian joke: this guy was riding his bike (like SO many Chinese people do) when he ran into a stoped three-wheel truck bike (use your imagination) because he was too busy staring at the 'foreigner' riding his bike (like SO many Chinese people do).
Ok this was not really an "Asian Joke" but this happened AGAIN while I was riding to the store today. I find it funny everytime (by the way, I'm the foreigner in this story). |
Re: Asian Joke (Score: 1)
by Jesse on Tuesday, June 10 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | Q: How do you make an Asian girl white?
A: You spin her around in circles real fast... It'll dis-Orient her.
Badump bump.
My brother told me that one. It was so bad I squirted milk out my nose. It was very dignified. |
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Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by MxZorin on Sunday, June 08 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.ipecac.com | | I actually worked with a girl who was also employed at a strip club, (the infamous and now defunct Gold Club in Atlanta). She simply referred to it as her other job. In fact she made much more at the club so I guess that was her real job. We hung out some times and I heard stories very similar to the situation you wrote about. It seems that you run in to a person like that every so often and handle them the best way you know. Sounds like you handled the situation very tactfully, good job. Thanks for a well written, entertaining story. |
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Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by larsoncc on Sunday, June 08 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.fatmangames.com | Sorry, I stopped paying attention. Did anyone comment on the actual story?
All told, I like the "day in the life of" perspective, but the story... Well, it served to remind me of what type of person that I am, perhaps in contrast to others.
When I read the story, I felt a subtext (maybe I read too much into it). It went something like this: you've got all these people - ones being treated kind of like objects, and ones acting like objects.
Yet, all anyone wants out of the whole interaction is to connect - to be a person, to reach out to others.
You've got the regulars that dump their problems, you've got the girls forming a "mini-society", you've got the odd girl out, you've got the life that doesn't include this place.
It's a twisting of normality. It's making people consumable. It makes the women process the customers. It makes the customers pay for social contact. It's a twisting of social interactions. It has, to me, a sense of desperate reaching out.
Now, this is just being me here, but to me, the whole story had a kind of plastic, broken-"man behind the curtain" feel to it. It played out like a high school drama in a ditch.
I wouldn't consider myself right-wing by any stretch of the imagination. But, I don't know, maybe the world might be better without the strip clubs. Maybe we'd appreciate people more.
I don't know. |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by Jesse on Monday, June 09 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | You've actually got quite a bit of the subtext, so give yourself more credit than that. What many people fail to realize, is that I'm neither for nor against strip clubs. I see the black, the white, and the shades of grey in the middle. I enjoy working there, but if it wasn't there, I would find another place to work without batting an eye. (Actually... Part of the reason I HAVE another place to work is that it may not be there tomorrow. Someone is ALWAYS threatening to shut down our club for one reason or another.)
I derive most of my savant-like enjoyment in a job from figuring out how to do it well. I've had all kinds of jobs in my (comparatively short) life. Some I've mastered, some I've really been bad at (sales! I can't sell food to hungry people. It's terrible. I'm too honest. You could send me to Somalia with a truck full of hamburgers, and I'd be going on about the fat content and dubious nutritional value.) - but I learned something about myself (corny as that is) at all of them.
Someday, I'd really like to become a bar tender. I only drink one drink (coffee with Bailey's), but I think it'd be another fun kind of job to have. Learning all those bizarre mixed drink recipies would give me yet another thing to add to my list of "useless things I know." Lots of hustle and bustle, and the possibilities for more surreal situations are limitless. I'm sure that there are people out there who would find the world better without bars too.
And then maybe I'll try farming. I've heard people who are for or against almost every job in the universe. Heck, even with my other job - the one with the computers - I hear guys all the time that think the world would be a better place if computers were never invented... But I've never heard a single person say, "I think that farming is a big mistake. We never should have gotten away from hunting and gathering." That way I'll even have a morally defensible job to add to my list... Now if I can just do something about this black thumb of mine... |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by Elfstone on Monday, June 09 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | Did you know in India, the McDonald's there use lamb meat for their burgers but they also use artificial flavorings to make it TASTE like beef?
Why do I post these things? |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by jendemonium (jennifer@ihatefreddurst.n3t) on Monday, June 09 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.ihatefreddurst.com | I did think about that as I was writing, but I seriously don't see where he could have garnered the assumption that you're insecure, by this one story.
As I was reading the "subtext" I did start to realize that you are rather indifferent about it, which you should be. It's a job, not a career, not a lifestyle, not a hobby. I'm indifferent as to the company I work for. They provide a service, they need employees to run properly, and I happen to be one of those employees. I get paid to do what I do. I don't thoroughly enjoy it, but I don't hate it. And I choose to be there. I got the feeling that's pretty much how you looked at the club. You know that you don't have to be there, but it's enjoyable and interesting enough to keep you there. And that's okay.
Bartender is actually a fairly interesting from what I've been told, and is one of those jobs that I wouldn't mind trying my hand at. I tend to stick to only a few drinks myself, but it is fun to mix and experiment with new ideas. |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by Jesse on Tuesday, June 10 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | I did see some of what he meant about insecurity, if the statements weren't taken in context, but I thought that the sum of the comments would lead to the indifference you noticed. Overall, I AM indifferent. It's another job. Like all jobs, it has it's highs and lows. It's just one of the more ridiculous jobs I've enjoyed in my life.
Seriously, though. I don't have as many weirdo stories from there, but if I could afford to work there, I'd still be working at the greasy spoon that was my first job in college. It was sweaty and well... greasy... and we didn't make enough money to support ourselves in the style to which ANYONE would like to become accustomed, but we had good times. I liked the hustle and bustle, and all the slices of peoples lives that I witnessed there. |
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Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by jsbrou on Tuesday, June 10 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | | Wow. What a great story. I must have missed the email newsletter that announced this one since I only noticed it today. I love stories about people and the way they interact. |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by Phusion on Tuesday, June 10 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | No Worries, I missed it too.
Great Story Jerry. Really all of these stories have been great despite what some people's opinions are. What i've liked about all of them has been the very human aspect to them. No really horrible or outstanding endings...just well..endings. Feels good to have some insight into a person's life whom you don't personally know and will probably never meet. Reminds you that everyone else around you is human too.
I realize most (if not all) of these stories are true, but it's still good to read em.
Great job Joe! Waiting on the book! |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by Jesse on Tuesday, June 10 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | | No. Not JERRY. JESSE. I'm a GIRL. Though, if you prefer, I have been know to introduce myself to customers as JASPER when I'm feeling particularly cantankerous. |
Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by Phusion on Wednesday, June 11 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | oops...heh ma bad. I have no CLUE why I typed Jerry. I'll go huddle in a hole some where and rock back and forth.
*Runs in a hole some where and rocks back and forth*
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Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by Jesse on Thursday, June 12 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | | No need to fuss. I thought it was pretty funny. Have more coffee. It's good for you... |
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Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by the_joker11 on Sunday, June 15 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | Good story - lovely reading.
The one thing I have to say though, is that I dont think this is book material - more like magazine material. I dont mean it's not 'up to book quality standards', but the whole setup is more like a reporting, then a standalone story to make a book chapter.
But I too would certainly love to see your memoirs.
Something completely different - from an European perspective I am totally fascinated with the whole concept of a 'strip-club', especially the normality that seems to go with it. I for instance live in Amsterdam, and the only strip-clubs you have here are severely red-light. And the same goes for just about all of Europe. Generally Europe seems to be a lot more tolerant and relaxed about most vice-related matters: prostitution is legal in most European countries, and the drug and alcohol regulations are a lot more common sense.
At the same time strip-clubs seem to be rather wide-spread in the US. How come? Is it the next-best thing instead of going to a hooker, while staying legal? That seems to be a way too simple explanation - although many men actually visiting prostitutes seem to find a similar social context as what Jesse describes.
I guess I will have to visit thousands of these clubs to write my PHD over this study :) |
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Re: Gerity's Tactical Error (Score: 1)
by Reflections on Monday, December 08 2003
(User Info | Send a Message) | Hahaha, someone needed to do a little venting. I dig that.
Keep up the good work and ignore the 'constructive critism' that pops up. |
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